Build Your Self-confidence One Step at a Time
| by Marty Silberstein | |
| July 28, 2010 |
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The most reassuring truth about self-confidence is that it can be built. At any point in the process of seeking a new job, changing careers or prospecting for great clients, you can begin to gradually believe in your capabilities. It’s never too late—despite hurtful early experiences or unhelpful feedback you may receive now. You can start to build awareness, acceptance and appreciation of your abilities one step at a time.
Remember Lincoln Logs?
Reach back to your childhood for a moment or you watch your own children at play. You may remember Lincoln Logs, invented by John Lloyd Wright in 1916. Yes, the son of Frank Lloyd Wright, renowned American architect. Interlocking logs, along with blueprints for constructing various buildings, opened up endless possibilities for imaginative kids.
When you first saw the picture of the cabin on the box, you probably felt excited and nervous at the same time. You thought - how can I possibly build that? But you did it—very methodically—one log upon the next.
How you build self-confidence
The process of building is a useful metaphor to keep in mind. What seems like a daunting task is made more manageable when you see there’s a method to it.
Self-confidence is one plank in the platform from which you reach for your goals. It is the inner knowledge that you can manage through capably.
You build self-confidence intentionally and gradually. As you do the things you must do, you’ll learn that you can manage more. A feeling of competency becomes an accepted part of your self-image.
To build your self-confidence, you can begin to:
1. Acknowledge and appreciate the value of your professional background and talents. Promote that value by crafting excellent personal marketing materials that present your capabilities. Prepare. Practice. You’ll be ready to go.
2. Set your boundaries and preferences as you go along. You’ll have occasions to say “yes” as well as “no” to opportunities. Both responses are powerful. They reflect your decisiveness and remind you that you do have choice.
3. Take measured risks. Start small and accept greater challenges as you feel more comfortable. Initiate low risk activities to get the ball rolling. Invite a colleague to join you on LinkedIn, make a phone call to catch up, meet someone for coffee and conversation.
4. Take the actions necessary to move you to your goal. Action is the most important tool to improve self-confidence. Develop an action plan to approach potential employers or prospects. Work that plan each day. Momentum will build.
When you feel doubtful, take out the old Lincoln Logs, Lego building set, model kit or jigsaw puzzle. Remind yourself that you can build self-confidence one step at a time.
No one can make you feel inferior without your permission. -Eleanor Roosevelt
Today’s question
Is lack of self-confidence keeping you from energetically pursuing your goals?




